“Oh, I’m sorry, Teddy, did you want me to introduce you to my boyfriend?”
“No, I…can we talk? Alone?”
“We are alone.”
“People can hear us.”
“What’s the big deal?”
“I — ugh, you’re impossible. Why didn’t you tell me you had a boyfriend?”
“Why does it matter? You didn’t bother to tell me that you invited your girlfriend along on our trip to the amusement park.”
“That — that’s different! I at least told you I had a girlfriend!”
“So? Are you jealous or something?”
“No!”
“Then we’re done here, aren’t we?”
“…Fine. Have fun with your boyfriend.”
“I will, thanks.”
“Teddy…shut up!”
“I’m sorry, what did you say before that, Vic? Something about having a crush on me?”
“No, seriously, if you don’t shut up, I’m going to smack you with a tree branch.”
“So, how long ago was this crush? A day? Two? Maybe even a week?”
“Oh, my God, it was three years ago, now shut up!”
“Do you still?”
“Do I still what?”
“Have a crush on me.”
“…I thought I told you to shut up.”
“Wait, your mum seriously thought you were pregnant?”
“Yeah, something about how I was wearing a looser dress than usual. I don’t even know.”
“Vic, as much as I love you, your mum’s a piece of work.”
“I know, my God…but y’know, a baby wouldn’t be so bad one day.”
“…What?”
“I mean — later, of course. Not now. We’re far too young.”
“Yeah, it…I mean, you’re right. It’d be nice. I’ve always wanted kids.”
“Me, too. But in the future, of course. We’ve got jobs to worry about right now.”
“Right. Also, maybe you should tell your mother that just because we live together doesn’t mean we’re having sex twenty-four seven.”
“…Teddy, sweetheart, I would, but she’d never believe me.”
“Oh.”
“Teddy, mate, for the last time, stop staring at her.”
“I can’t. And she’s staring back, anyway.”
“She has a boyfriend.”
“I know that!”
“Then?”
“I just…I don’t know, okay? Leave me alone.”
“Cheer up, Vic!”
“Why should I?”
“Because Davies was a loser who didn’t deserve you.”
“I just…”
“No, listen. I have it on good authority - mine, as I share his dorm - that he has days of the week underwear. And, here’s the best part - he wears them on the wrong days!”
“Teddy, I’m slightly concerned that you know that.”
“Hey, it made you smile.”
“Oh, shush.”
“So… how was your date with… what’s his name? Davies?”
“Matthew Davies, yes, and you should know that. He’s in your year, after all.”
“Yeah, well, I prefer not to keep tabs on boys who want to ask you out. There’s far too many of them.”
“You’re not jealous, are you, Teddy?”
“No, not at all. Why would I be?”
“Oh, well, you tell me.”
“I’m not jealous!”
“If you say so.”
